If you're looking for the wrong answers, you have come to the right place.

Obviously medicine companies don't know what fruit tastes like.

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you definitely have a person in your basement."?

Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.

I was super lazy today. It's like regular lazy but I wore a cape.

If someone tells you you're their "everything", you should expect to be murdered at some point.