Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it craps all over you.

Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.

Deep thought and deep sleep can look a lot alike. At least, that's what I tell my boss.

Of all of the things I miss the most, my wife says the toilet is the most annoying.

This status is just a bookmark so I know where I left off reading.

It's a shame that stupidity can't be converted into a usable energy source.