I want an application that will automatically unfriend all the people who've been friends with me for over a year and have never liked or commented on any of my posts or messaged me.

I'm so poor that if someone were to try to rob me they would laugh and give me money.

"Said No One Ever" -Says Everyone all the time...

I don't have health insurance but I do have car insurance so whenever I get sick I just go crash my car into a tree.

I think I might be coming down with a "woman cold", it's sorta like a "man cold", but somehow I can manage to clean, do laundry, and take care of myself.

Decided to friend my girlfriend on Facebook to get status updates on our relationship.