Never look back unless there's an attractive stranger behind you!
-funny status messages
I can tell by your sarcastic undertones, rude comments and sheer lack of common decency, that you and I could be best friends in no time.
-sarcastic status for facebook
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things women remember.
-funny status about men
When someone unfriends me, I just assume that they have a low tolerance for awesome.
-cute facebook statuses
Whenever someone looks over my shoulder while I'm on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "How To Kill the person behind me."
-funny status update
Apparently not everyone sees the "Whats on your mind?" question where you enter your facebook status. Some people must be seeing, "Please write at least 10 pretend things you have to brag about..." or "Write the most negative thought you can think of..." or "What's a recent problem you had that you can vaguebook about?"
-quotes about facebook