I wonder how we really know that hard work never killed anybody, when the only reliable witness may be dead?

I think that my voice of reason has duct tape over it's mouth.

Wouldn't it be nice if real life was like Facebook and you could just vanish from a conversation whenever you wanted?

Facebook: A place where all your past mistakes will eventually try to befriend you.

I don't mean to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.

Marriage. When dating goes too far.