Judging you one status at a time.

He said the spark between us was gone. So I tasered him. I'll ask him again when he wakes up.

How come Mario can smash through bricks, yet he dies when he touches a freakin' turtle?

If you go for a jog and you don't post it on Facebook, have you really jogged?

People with no talent or skills have really got it made. No one will ever ask them to help out with anything.

Looking at all the posts I make on facebook, you would never know I have a job. Looking at my paycheck makes me feel the same way.