Some people need to open their small minds instead of their big mouths.

Hey, idiot, know how I know you're not writing your own status? Because you spelled everything right.

When my wife is angry with me, instead of giving me the silent treatment, she just keeps talking.

Hey, person I went to high school with: If your Facebook friend request is more communication than we had in high school, the answer is no.

Believe me, I have been trying really hard to pay attention to what you have to say, but somehow, "not giving a crap" always get in the way.

Women stop trying to fix men when they realize it's more fun to break them.