Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

You should have two Facebook accounts. One for each face.

Is "you look like someone that enjoys good food" a compliment, or was I just called fat?

The number of words in your Starbucks coffee order is equal to the number of times I wanna kick the back of your head while standing in line.

Some people need to open their small minds instead of their big mouths.

Actions speak louder than words. Your words mean nothing to me when your actions are telling me different.